I recently spoke to my mom and she asked how my blog was. I was surprised she wasn't following it. When I asked why, she said it was because Day 19 (The text message post) made her cry and she didn't want to cry anymore, so she stopped reading. She also said that I sound angry.....WHICH IS NOT TRUE! >:( I AM NOT ANGRY!!! .....JK. (Seriously, I am not angry.) But It did make me a little mad that what happened made my mom cry. I mean...IIIII haven't even cried since Day 19, but if what happened made my mom cry......then THIS SHIT IS ON! No mother fucker makes my mom cry!!!(Although I do have to acknowledge that everything makes my mom cry and it really isn't saying much when something makes her cry.)
So I wanted to write a blog for my mom and for everyone that has ever had someone TAKE A GIANT SMELLY DISGUSTING DUMP ON YOUR LIFE!
What it feels like to have your heart broken:
1. It feels like you have a baby stuck in your throat, but that baby is a lump of "cry" that will not go away, and you suppress this cry because if you let it come up it will never stop and you and everyone around you will be at risk of drowning in a pool of your tears.
2. It feels like you are stuck to to everything you lay on: your bed, the living room floor, the bathroom floor, the kitchen floor, the floor of a party you went to thinking it would make you feel better. You are completely paralyzed and it feel like moving any muscle might make this awful nightmare real and to avoid this you rather never move again. (nyquil, melatonin, and tylenol PM have now become your best friend).
3.It feel like every electronic device you own has now become an extension of yourself, and you have to be connected or next to all of these items and if you are not then you might miss the phone call, text message, or email that they might send you.....but they never do.
4. It feel like you are reliving your relationship over again because you have somehow remembered everything that has ever happened over the course of your relationship and now you have to scrutinize every detail for signs that it was going badly, they were losing interest, or worst you were doing something that HAD YOU NOT DONE THEY WOULD STILL LOVE YOU!
5.It feels like you rather have been shot, stabbed, machete-ed, run over by a bus, had your insides eaten by rats, and left to rot because at least then your death would be a lot quicker then the even slower death of a broken heart.
6. It feels like someone that you loved and would have given everything for, has treated you like a piece of a trash that is easily disposable. They wiped their ass with you and threw you in the garbage.
7. It feels like you want everyday to rain, you want everyday to be cloudy, and you want everyone to be unhappy all the time, because those happy mother fuckers are the most annoying people in the world and should shove themselves far up your asshole.
8. And don't even think about dating someone else because they will forever be NOT YOUR EX. It doesn't matter how amazing the next person will be, the point is they are not your ex. There is no reason to move on.
Getting over someone feels like:
1. You have been overdrafting in your bank account and have accumulated thousands of dollars in credit card changes and you just won the lottery!
2. The first time you ate meat after being a vegeterian for a long time And it is not just any meat, this meat has been cooked by Emeril himself; marinated for a couple hours and paired with a delicious red wine from 1918. ( i really have no idea what i am talking about...)
3. It feels like coffee when you are sooo tired. And the barista has put crack in your coffee and now you are so excited and energized that you never want to sleep again.
4. It feels like Justin Timberlake just ran into you and decided that he made a huge mistake marrying Jessica Biel and you are the woman of his dreams.
5. It feels like someone finally took the baby out of your throat
6. It feel like you are surprised everytime you run into their name in your phone, emails, or facebook. You are mostly surprised because you just went X amt of time without thinking of them and any amount of time is worth celebrating. You also find it incredibally annoying that Facebook continues to show them in your "friends" box or "mutual friends" box even though you have removed them from your newsfeed and privitized your profile to them.
7. It feels like you are much more excited to write a blog and post it on Facebook, and have them on a privacy filter on facebook and blocked on twitter than to have them be able to access your page and see how hot you look.
8. It feels like you can finally go on a date and not feel like you are just trying to replace them or fill the void in your life.
9. It feels like you can look back on the relationship and think "I was young and stupid."
10. It feels like you are happy that you didn't do EVVEERRYTTTHING with them because you want to be able to do those firsts with somebody else. (get your mind out of the gutter, people.)
*************************************
QUESTIONS AND COMMENTS:
Seriously, How do i make them stop showing up in my "friends" bar on facebook without defriending them. Why won't I defriend them....because I don't really want to give him the pleasure of knowing that I defriended him and....he is actually pretty well connected to people and I might want to use him one day when this is all over. Hey, a girl's got to eat :)
Yay, am I excited for you *wink
ReplyDelete