Day 20: Day 1 of the rest of my life!!!!!

Day 20: Day 1 Of the rest of my life!

   Breaking up with my ex boyfriend this second time around was much easier!  (I know it was just a lunch but humor me, okay).  Actually the saddest part of my day was probably realizing that I wasn't sad anymore, and that I was actually a little hungry. I didn't eat all day yesterday because I felt so sick with sadness. This is VERRRRYYYYY rare. I usually eat in all emotions. I thought maybe, just maybe....I could pull it off and become the comfort starver I have always wanted to be.  Ugh, but it was short lived and I got hungry.  SUCKKKSSS. So I actually tried to channel all my feelings back so that I can feel sick again and continue to not eat. It didn't work. Fortunately, it was a good little catalyst to losing weight. I weighed myself at the gym and lost 4 lbs!  Unfortunately, the color of my pee would like to argue that its all water weight and I am dehydrated. (ew, that is gross. I can't believe I wrote that for everyone to see.)
 
   Something else day 1 has helped me realize is how driven I am by sex. Something hugely HHUUGGEEELLLYY upsetting is that NWG was the closest thing to sex I had. Firstly there is this whole Christian "prude-ity", but even if I throw out the abstinence factor, I am not going to whore myself out to people without a ginormous feeling of security, commitment, and love. And without NWG, I am......that much farther away from sex on the regular :(  FML!  Makes me think that Jesus had a hand in all of this. Ugh, that Jesus is such a cockblock!
Well, realizing and even vocalizing this has been really helpful, because I need to realize that I don't really like him, I just want to have sex.  (ugh, maybe I shouldn't have told my mom she could read my blog.)(Hi, Mommy!)

Well....now that we are all uncomfortable:

Today: I caught up on the sleep I missed the day before; wore heels and jeans; was running late so I ran to the train in heels! (like a boss!); didn't have time to put makeup on in the morning, so I took my makeup bag to work with me! (look at that commitment!); I said No to the bagels at work; and went to the gym instead of happy hour!

      And I was so excited about my self control and determination today that I told my knee that it better shut the fuck up and let me run without hurting. When I was in HS I got in a car accident and they put screws in my knee and it hasn't been the same. But today I said "No more, Knee. I own you. You don't own me!"  So I  got on that treadmill and ran a mile .....and then limped the next .25 miles. Damnit, knee. You win this time!

                         

I just realize that I am taking pictures next to the trashcans.  #picturefail

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QUESTIONS AND COMMENTS:

 My blog hit over 3000 views! You guys rock! Thanks for supporting me.

Also, I am not sure where the 3000 come from, but why does no one ever leave me questions to answer! I have been making up a lot of questions to put here, making it look like people ask questions....ask some questions or say something damnit. Lets make the blog interactive!