Day 0:
  Today I formed the idea, but it has been over a year in the making.

What is the idea?
   Originally I thought I want to challenge myself to be a better me in 30 days. That is 30 days of breaking up different areas of my life and working on them. But there are too many of them and in the end I knew one would be more important to me than anything else......my physical appearance.  I know. I know. Superficial and vain, but..... (watch me not even try to justify) knowing that and having you judge me isn't going to change anything so I rather embrace it and run with it.

Idea continued....
   I think people, women especially are ALL beautiful. No, that is not true. I think, ALL people, women especially, have the ability to be beautiful. And I am not talking beautiful on the inside bullshit. I am talking about "rip off your clothes HOTT" beautiful. In Colombia there is a saying: "You are either beautiful or you are poor" meaning "you have either gotten plastic surgery or you can't afford to."   Well I want to apply the same thought to United States.... "You are either beautiful or you are lazy." Women are LAZY. Why do movie stars look so good? because they put a lot of effort into the way they look. Why do you look like shit, because you don't give a shit.
So reflecting on my own life. I am lazy too. I get to work at 7 and I wake up at 6:20. I jump on a train somewhere between 6:35-6:45, with a 5 minute walk to the train included in there. That means I am leaving the house with 10-20 minutes of getting ready. I know I look like shit, and I know why, because I am LAZY. I wear makeup maybe once a week, wear crocs everyday, and justify growing out my eyebrows by saying I need to grow them out to get them done (which is still true. but....not necessary).
 It is for this reason that my good friend Myra says I have the widest range she has ever seen. I can go from a solid 4 to a 10 if I really tried. I would agree with Myra. When I look good I LOOOKKK GOOODD. But when do I look good? Once a week....maybe, so 4x a week at most.  Lets do the math. That means that if I am regularly a 4 and am a 10 4x a month. Then I am....a 4.8 or a 5 on average, if I am rounding up. WTF! And even if Myra is just lying out of jealousy- she is on to something. I am still at best a 6 or 7. That is 70%....that is a D. I am failing.

The challenge:
  I want to go 30 days straight of being a 10. What does that mean? That means that I benching my crocs and my ugly sweater that gives me no waist. I am not leaving my house without at least mascara and blush. And my hair will never be wet in public. I will wear a dress even if it means I am freezing my ass, and I will wear heels until I am limping. And the only reason  I will remove them then is because limping is unattractive and not because I am in pain.

Why am I doing this?
 Probably because it has been a year since I broke up with my exboyfriend and even though I am sometimes over him, I am sometimes NOT over him. And that makes me depressed. I am not depressed because I miss him or we broke up, I am depressed because I still think of that mother fucker even though he broke my heart and took a giant shit over my life. What is wrong with me!?
So after doing therapy, an embarrassing amount of online dates, 2 quasi relationships, 2 trips to Vegas, a lot of drunk makeouts, attempts at hypnosis, and finally debating doing drugs, I decided I need an upper. And what makes me feel good about myself...Looking good.
   Also, since I stopped dating and my friends all decided they are going to be assholes and not hang out with me, I have a ton of free time.


Today: day 0:
 A week ago I got a facial...it didnt do shit. Today I went and got a stronger one.
I also just took a laxative, preparing myself for the hot body I am going to work on having for the next 30 days. And since I am impatient and want to see results now....I laxative with strong prescriptive stuff. Thank you, Colombian cousins who brings me drugs from Colombia.

This is me looking ratty like I usually do with an awkward face. Maybe next month I will work on my awkwardness. (also, i really hate it when people take picture of themselves in mirrors, especially when you have an iphone that has that "take a pic of yourself" camera in the front. But I needed a body shot and have no friends.


Why am I blogging?
 To force me to do this, because tomorrow when I wake up to go to work at 6. I might be tempted to snooze it til 6:20.